Expectations

I suddenly got thinking about "Expectations". Should one have expectations on oneself? There's two sides to the story:

1. Expectations are good. They are something you should have so that you have a battle plan, so that you have a direction and so that you can keep moving forward. Best explained in this picture -

I always had great expectations on myself when I was young.

• To ace all my tests
• To ace my NAPFA
• To be able to do something great for the society

I'm actually quite the proud peacock when I was in primary school. When I finished a project work, I would be super proud of it and would show off to my parents. I would be certain I would get a good grade. When I finished my tests, I would be certain of a good grade. Then I would con my parents for some reward ( like lots and lots of cadbury chocolates) if I get a certain number of "A"s for them. I almost always attained all those great expectations I had for myself in primary school. How I wish I could relive those glory days. Things were so easy then.

Then I came into secondary school, where things suddenly weren't that easy anymore. I still remember how I flunked my first biology practical test. That was when I realised I have to start working hard to meet all the great expectations I had (those expectations of excellent results that my parents give me that I subconsciously expect of myself )

Which brings me to the flip side of having expectations:

When you work hard, put in effort and create expectations of success, then when things don't go right, there's always this feeling of not being good enough. When it happens alot, it just damages one's self esteem :/ Another example: when its your birthday, your ego expects lots of birthday wishes and lots of gifts. Yet when people you think are close to you don't wish you happy birthday or don't do anything, there's this bitter disappointment of "maybe we are not as close as I thought"

It's the best feeling to not have expectations and be surprised though. I still remember this surprise birthday celebration during my seconday 2 (?) chalet days. The chalet happen to clash on my birthday. I honestly didn't think I was popular enough to be remembered or for people to take the trouble of surprising me. I casually said I like a shirt as I past by a push cart with some friends. The next thing I know, it was night time and the whole class came popping up with a cake while singing the birthday song. Then they gave me the shirt that I said I liked. It was seriously the best and first birthday surprise I had ever~! (well then during the next year's chalet when it collide with my birthday again, I sorta expected a birthday surprise... and things wasn't as amazing as the previous one)

So should we have expectations?
The wise me would say: "YES. Keep being optimistic, keep having expectations. It doesn't matter if we get disappointed at times. That is part of life. You just have to accept it and keep moving forward. Part of the fun of having expectations is the fun of imagining it, working hard for it and eventually seeing it come true"

The depressed version of me would say: " Heck it. Why the bother? Why do you keep stressing yourself up with high expectations, fail, get more depressed. Isn't it much easier to take things as they come?"

Then again... would I be able to control having expectations..?

Sorry for this very teenagish confused post XD,
Jojo

On the side note: Running Man is really awesome~ Variety shows are the best:)