Being a young adult is not as glamorous as it seems on media.
I thought that when I become a young adult, I would have lots of money to spend. I can buy whatever clothes I want, go overseas whenever I want. I will have a meaningful job, which will become part of my brand-new i-am-a-valuable-member-of-society identity. This job will be one where I can steadily climb up the ranks, with all the preparation and skill training I had in high school and university. I will (somehow) achieve work life balance.
BUT NO. I have opened my eyes to reality. With adulthood, comes..
1. Dealing with loss
When you become older, it means that your parents, favourite aunts and uncles and grandparents become old as well. I have come to realised that my parents and their siblings have reached an age when they health will start to deteriorate. Cholestrol issues, heart problem, cancer, diabetes... all the health issues I have studied in biology and had thought would only happen to a handful of people... are the issues are have struck my loved ones. You never know when a cancer cell will start to activate or when the illness will escalate to the point that your loved one will be hospitalised. My parents used to be the financial pillars of my family. They are almost like superheros. To see them, the people i look up to, weakened is quite saddening. I cannot image the future where I switch roles with them and become the superhero instead. Worse, i cannot imagine the day when they are physically leave my life and join the spiritual world. Sure we can comfort ourselves and believe that they are in heaven but it doesn't change the feeling of loss.
Things that I am used to have changed. The new year when we always do the same old thing - visiting our grandparents house- will be different this year. I now know that every decade, things will never stay constant. The things I like, the practices I like will never never be there forever.
My siblings have gotten married and are starting to move on to a brand to phase in life and start their own family. The time we can spend together is not a frequent as when we were kids. We can no longer just say "hey lets go for movies" and all be free on that day at the same time. We are all busy with work and our other social lives Just scheduling a common day to hang out is tough.. This is especially so for me when my sibling sometimes works on weekends.. I guess I am worried that my closeness with my jiejie and korkor will decline a few years later. A few years later, we will not just be limited by amount of time can we spend with each other, but also be separated physically in where we live.
Not just loss of loved ones, but with age, we also deal with the loss of energy levels and spirit. The thorny path of adult life - be it work stress, family problems, social life problems, keeps beating us down and try to dampen our spirit. Life is no longer as easy as relying on your parents because now we have to be indepedent. Life is no longer just failing papers and being scolded, for failures may just threaten our personal reputation and career prospect (which the affects our survival and lifestyle). As a young adult, i struggle to maintain my spirit. There are days i feel like a mindless robot doing things for survival. They are other good days where I enjoy what I do.
2. Climbing up the career ladder aint that easy
Its all about EQ + IQ and they are so many people out that with both of them.. while i still struggle with this rigid, scary workaholic image which I tend to exude out whenever I am focused at work.. I am still brushing up my EQ (i.e. how to not let client bully you. How to successfully persuade client to do stuff and not let them push the work right back at you -.- all these tricky stuff x.x) Let's just say my education only prepared by only ~30% for this. Sometimes I still feel like a newborn baby deer in the working world.
3. Money issues
Most of my income have been used for paying off school loans and supporting the family and surviving. Minus off necessary saving for insurance.. i have no spare cashflow for retirement, house savings etc Dont even get me started on how much investment Singapore Qualification Programme requires...Haiz.. I cant even think about that glamorous lifestyle of buying whatever i want and trying out whatever new things I fancy. At least not till i get a few more promotions.
4. Work life balance
What is work life balance when sometimes you are so worn out from work that you just want to shut everyone out and do nothing (aka be a no lifer) LOL
Gotta sleep already so i guess I shall rant till here.
Thoughtful,
Jojo
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