The feeling of being "scheduled in"

There was a time when I was busy. Tuition; studies; official work (audit life ain't that chill to begin with). Even with all that going on, I had to squeeze in some social life too! And I would put hang-out invitations on waiting list. I am a very structured person. So in my mind, i wanted to keep everything nicely scheduled and well balanced. Some time for study, some me time, some time for family, some time for case buddies, some time for making new friends out of colleagues, some time for other friends. With all these in mind,  I told my case buddies clique something like

"Now that im working, i think i can only make it for an outing once every month"

Then I was kinda chided by kc for sounding like I'm too busy for friends/ they are not very important anymore. I didn't understand it at that time. But now I'm seeing everything with a fresh new perspective - the one being "scheduled in"

It really do sucks to feel so "scheduled in" by busy friends. Am I begging for attention? Why do I feel somewhat like a eunuch who is graced by your few hours of time? In your sea of friends, am I way down your priority list? Should I even try to beg for hanging out even again?

All these are really irrational, selfish thoughts. Objectively, I do understand that the act of making time for a friend is good enough. But these are feelings I can't seem to shake off. I suppose when you reach adulthood, friendship becomes something more. Not just people who are linked to each other by circumstance, but something you really have to put in effort to maintain (especially when you are busier than ever) I suppose, more than ever, you just want friends who cherish you as much as you cherish them.

Is there even a point in calling each other friends, when the friendship is going to an end when things get inconvenient? I suppose I think this way because I'm an introvert who find it hard to make friends with people. For now, I guess i have to stay positive and just what to grasp on to every strand of friendship I have, and hope it's reciprocated :P

Let's hope case buddies and what few friendships I have endure the test of time,
Jojo

P.s sometimes I really applaud people who takes the first step and organise meet ups. It's not an easy role to be in.. being the one who bugs every one their preferred time etc.