My son pleasantly surprised me today

Thanks to my BFF, im reminded that I have this blog as an outlet for my rantings and a platform for me to document stories and memories. 

Today, I am writing about 2 things my son surprised me on.

1) His response after a caning session 

My son is 3 years old now. Now, he is able to use his hands and legs however he wants. No longer weak/dependent on others, his little hands and feet has the power to create or destroy at his will. We instructed him on the rules of the house, bible lessons on what God says about duty of parents in disciplining children and what are the 7 cardinal sins that tempts us daily. After spending much effort laying the necessary foundation (my son's understanding of God's words to little children on obedience to parents and basic understanding of the 7 heavenly virtues), the day has come to start with the ROD.

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24).
 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15)

 

Today, he defiantly disobeyed his nainai (i.e. grandma) by using a highlighter to scribble on a blackboard. The more we said to stop, the more he continued. When physically stopped from his act of rebel, he threw stuff on the floor and hit nainai out of frustration. My helper stepped in to calm him down and talk reason with him. As this panned out before my eyes, my mind quickly contempted whether the rod should be used. He has broken 3 out of the 5 house rules explained (hurting others, act of violence by throwing things, disobedience even after warning). Then I thought.. " its my job to do my job as a mum-- this is a time for disciplining"

Off I went to find something resembling a rod, a chopstick. I grabbed hold of my struggling son and calmly hit him twice on his little hands with the chopstick. As expected, lots of crying. Then I carried him to a room to hug him, reassure him and teach him. While hugging him, I reassured him that I am hitting because I love him and God instructed me to use the rod to discipline him. We love him so we want to correcr him and let his hands remember disobedience and violence are wrong. I reasoned with him that God did not allow him to hit his nainai and that destroying things is bad. Slowly, he calmed down and wanted to leave the room to continue playing again. 

I reminded him to say sorry to his nainai. He refused initially. So i gave him some time till he was ready. He said he didnt know how to say sorry. He went his way..not sure what was in his little mind as he went to find something for his meimei. Eventually, after some reminder, encouragement and instruction, he said sorry and hugged his nainai.

I remember when i got caned by my mum when I was young, I felt sad and frustrated with my mum and wanted to distance away myself from my mum --the source of all that hitting & anger.  So thats what I had expected after disciplining my son.

To my pleasant surprise, my son joined me gladly in an exploration of a "zoo" (a display of soft toys on the shelf). Thereafter,  i had hours of fun playing on a mattress, imagining that we are on a boat to several lands (e.g. zoo, rainbow land, rubbish bin). I never expected having such a nice simple fun with my son right after a caning session.

Perhaps this is how the rod is supposed to be used. To be used in patience and intentional words of love, never out of anger. Surely the rod of correction will reflect God's mercy, longsuffering and love. 

2) His reply to my energy-drained body

After much fun with our imaginations, i was totally zapped out of energy and yet with many other tasks to do -- breastfeed my younger daughter, lunch, bathe.

After his lunch, my son came in looking to continue our adventure while i was still recharging my energy. Worn out, i honestly told him "i need to feed meimei, eat finish my lunch and some time to rest.." He responded with a schedule "1. Feed meimei. 2. Eat ur corn. 3. Sit on a boat with percy, okay?"

I was surprised. No tantrum, no fighting for attention with meimei. Rather, he scheduled himself last in my list of things to do. My son, learning empathy bit by bit :3 How nice to see some of our little teaching lessons and bible lessons growing good stuff inside my son. 

May the word of God bloom in my son, my family and me. Thank you, my God, for opening my eyes to see the goodness in your instruction.