Korea 1.45 - Chronicles of Awkward Jojo (the fail moments of having zero social awareness)

Okay, so I knew I had low social awareness. Like how I always couldn't get social hints in situations and getting Angela to explain stuff to me. Many people did tell me I can be "in-my-own-world" at times. So, during my first week at Korea, my low social awareness has intentionally hurt other people feeling... Looks like I need to kambatte in brushing up on my social awareness skills..

My awkward Jojo symbol 

Case 1: The Finding Restaurants Story

So one day, right after the photoshoot in hanboks, everyone was hungry and wanted to eat dinner. Jovan and jiejie, the  food gourmets, started googling hard for best rated restaurants in the area. Meanwhile, I was feeling irritated cuz we were at Myeongdong, where there were restaurants everywhere. We could just walk down and pop into any restaurants 1-2m aways and get a quick bite. I repeatedly told jiejie we could just eat the BBQ place I saw as we walked up to the hanbok place. One, it was nearby so we dun need to push the wheelchair that far. Two, dont need to find places since I know how to walk there. But no... we have to eat the best ._. 

We walked all the way to wangbijib (I think it's Michelin rated?) but end up it was on the second story. The only way up was by stairs. So OUT. Ahma can't climb up the stairs. Eventually, we still had to go walk randomly to find restaurant. And guess what? We ended up at the BBQ store I've been telling jiejie(._.) I was so frustrated...Cuz jiejie never listens to me. One ear in, one ear out. Almost seem my ideas don't matter at all and is undermined compared to Jovan's. So I told jiejie "didn't I tell you to come here in the first place..."

Perhaps my complaining rubbed off people the wrong way. Then jiejie secretly whatsapp me to scold me(more like gently complain to me) about my seemingly rude behaviour. 

Let me clarify this situation: My intention was for all of us to curb our hunger and settle down quickly. I mean food was just food. When we see ppl crowding at a restaurant, it's bound to be good. I didn't understand Jovan's intention. Turns out, after some sisterly talk, jovan's intention was for ahma to eat the best food. Since it was a vacation for ahma (jiejie din even tell me that before the trip). That's why all the trouble. Like a social idiot, it didn't occur to me that way. Initially I thought it was an counterproductive, tiring way of doing things. Then after realizing his true intentions... I was like ohhh. I finally understood their obsession with over planning everything. 

Case 2: The Cheese story

In the BBQ store, I thought I should take up the leadership role and help collate the orders (since Im the one tt best in speaking Korean). So I said we should have cheese (cuz I knew tt the best way of eating tt BBQ meal was with cheese). Then I wanted some fried rice for us (for variety since we eat rice and ramen everyday). Then jiejie gave me a frowning face. The rest of them also had a weird stressed aura. I couldn't understand what they were stressed about. Best food and variety right? 

Turns out, ahma cannot eat Cheese._. And I -like a low social awareness person- couldnt understand the situation and kept in recommending cheese. OTL #failawkwardjojomoments

Got scolded by jiejie for being too authoritative.. I think Jovan's family was just being too nice and accommodating and didn't want to say no to me. WHYYYY... Just say NO... It's not like I'll kill 0.o

-I learnt my lesson-

On next day, I took advice from jiejie and became less authoritative. I replied "anything" to questions so that I don't seem to impose any opinion on anyone. Like when we went to the national museum and didn't have time to finish all the exhibit. So even though I wanted to finish this tour guidebook I bought for 100won, I said "anything" and left the musuem after visiting 20% of the musuem. But it's okay since I knew this time ahma and the rest were tired from walking through so much exhibits. Social skills upgrade! :3 

Case 3: The after-meals story

After a good long meal (right after stamp making @the national museum) at a food court, I looked around. Then I saw all of us were done eating. Then I saw jiejie engrossed in her phone. So I thought

Tsk why is jiejie making everyone wait for her...

So I said to jiejie:

"What are we waiting for?"

Know what? I got scolded/(complained yet again... Totally misread the situation OTL failed social skills again... Haiz. Turns out jiejie was waiting cuz ahma and the rest were tired. So when they heard me say "what are we waiting for" it came out as insensitive and self centred... Waeeeee how did my image Kenna distorted until like this. I felt wronged when jiejie told me about this and ended up crying from frustration. XD when everything u do get misinterpreted and backfires, ur tear gland will get hyperactive ya?

Case 4: Samcheongdong case of Cafe Hopping

So after walking at then humongous Gyeongbukgung palace, we walked all the way to samcheongdong. Tired and hungry, I wanted to settle for any cafe. After all, that the point of cafe hopping. Go different cafe eat a little of each. But Jovan and jiejie only wanted good blog-recommended cafe. 

When we finally reach the cafe, we ate some waffles with icecream and no one wanted to walk anymore.. They wanted to go back home after eating at ONE cafe in samcheongdong. 

Background info: samcheongdong is a place known for their coffee and u r supposed to cafe hop to truly enjoy this place. There were so many interesting shops and architectures. It was a great place for inspiration for my cca stuff. So I was so frustrated at how they didn't enjoy this place fully/ stay long enough to bring ahma to explore this wonderous place and it's unique cafes. In the end, I requested for 30-40mins solo time from jiejie so tt I can see samcheongdong as much as I can before leaving. 

Once again, got complaint from jiejie that I was being selfish._. Misinterpreted intentions, more distorted image. For that whole period after I got complains from jiejie, I just felt wronged and :/

Case 5: Asking for solo trip case

After discussion with jiejie, I finally revealed that I wanted to go solo. This was really because of my discomfort in intruding into Jovan's family time. Like I was abit far down the family relations tree. Jiejie said yes at first. But the next day, she complained to me and said tt me going solo could hurt ahma feelings. As though Im treating her like a burden. Which is so not true. Misinterpreted AGAIN. 

One: I wanted to go to young people's place. Follow the kwave. Something Jovan and the rest couldn't sync with since we have such a HUGE AGE GAP!! 

Two: so awkward intruding in their family time. Like jiejie and Jovan walking together sharing insider conversations. Then the aunties and ahma together. Most of the time, I'm just walking alone leading the way to the destination. Occasionally, I join in jiejie and Jovan. Which is like 3rd-wheeling much? 

Whoever in my shoes would rather go solo. How I wished Angela came with me so going separate wouldn't be such a sensitive issue.

Hahh. It's my lack of social awareness that caused to to join this Korea trip in the first place... Some social sense fool who joined in Jovan's family trip vacation. I didn't know we had to walk so strictly together like a wolf pack. I  thought we could be in the same district and then I could roam around solo before meeting them at a destinated time and place. 

But...I got my happy ending eventually:) after sisterly talk, we put all out on a table. Then we agreed on one solo day for me:) muahahaha. Kpop exploration here I come!

Reflections

So yea, after this 2 days drama, I realised my social skills and empathy ability needed to be honed. Sometimes saying "anything" first is better than coming off selfish. Like we should always ask for people's opinion first to be polite. 

This trip turned out to be quite enriching. I got to live a week in ahma shoes and experience day and night with an elderly. Maybe this insight will help me in creating a better Cyber Kopitiam for senior citizens! #alwaysoptimistic

Feeling better tt the misunderstanding is cleared now,

Jojo